I'm almost at the end of my rope with my darling daughter...I think we can all assume I mean Eva and not baby Elle. Eva has been seemingly more and more horrid. I've noticed it in the past few days...well maybe week it's getting bad, very bad. I was talking to a friend tonight and she thought it had been the past few months (ouch!).
She talks to me like she owns me, which I don't get because I have never been one to not use discipline. Being a parent is obviously hard and there are so many different emotions and feelings that come with every stage of your child's life, right now I'm at the, "Is-there-a-boarding-school-for-4-year-old-girls?" stage. Or perhaps some sort of school where both her and I can attend and they can teach her discipline and teach me how to use it effectively? that would be too easy. All I can say is if I go missing when my girls reach the age of puberty...heck, the age of 10, don't go looking for me, I will be far, far away, I will come back for their 16th birthdays and high school graduation, but that's pretty much it.
Here is Eva's conversation with me after swim lessons today (this is just a taste of her current state):
Eva: Why are you going so slow? I want to go home.
Me: I'm going as fast as the car in front of me is going, I can only go so fast.
-5 minutes later...seriously-
Eva: You are going so slow.
Me: -silence-
~~We get home~~We walk in the door~~
Eva: I'm hungry, make me a bagel.
Me: -silence- I carry Elle up to her crib for a nap-
Eva: Make me a bagel.
Me: I will not make you a bagel, I will make you a PB&J and you will eat it.
(note: usually I prompt her to say, "Don't you want to say please?" and stuff like that but I was at the end of my rope, I knew if I tried to talk to her I would explode all over her and I didn't want to do that)
Eva: -huffing, moaning, protesting-
I hand her the sandwich, she grabs it and says she wishes it was a bagel. Once she's done she demands another sandwich:
Me: Are you done?
Eva: Yes. (she starts to hand me the crusts...which she doesn't eat and I never cut off)
Me: Go throw that away in the garbage.
Eva: I'm NOT DONE!
Me: I'm pretty sure you just said you were done about 4 seconds ago.
Eva: -silence-
~~~She eventually falls asleep within the next 5 minutes~~~
HELP ME! I don't know if it's time to try some other form of discipline, if she's outgrowing something we're doing...she's trying to take control of my life and I think it's working...save me from my 4 year old!!
9 comments:
Awww Christa! I feel the same way sometimes. These 4-year-olds are so bossy!!
So after that conversation she conked out?? She must have been tired, huh. I wish mine would nap during the day...
p.s. Sorry I don't have any really useful advice!
Wow- I'm impressed. If I had lived that story, I'm pretty sure a smack on the face would have been the conclusion... I guess patience comes as you need it, though. I'm obviously no expert, but in my family, kids that are acting up go to Grandma Boot Camp, where they learn to respect their mother for fear of their grandmother. I went to mine when I was 10, and my sister has sent her 4 year old many times. Only works if your mom's a toughy, though. Good luck!
Has Melanie met your mom?
So.... kelly and eva were probably trouble makers in heaven together. Kelly is totally going through her "brat" phase right now. We have tried everything -- but with a stubborn kid, it's hard to find a good one. For the past three weeks we having been using the 1-2-3 magic stuff and it so far is working REALLY well. Some friends of ours lent us the DVD.
The DVD is totally outdated, but the guy is pretty funny and it's a very simple technique. It's worked so much better by far then anything else we've done. Here's a link to the DVD that we watched. It's expensive, so I would see if the library has it or someone else does.
http://www.parentmagicstore.com/All-Products/Parents-of-Kids-2-12/1-2-3-Magic-DVD-Managing-Difficult-Behavior
i feel like am more frustrated then happy when it comes to both of my boys right now. just today i said this trend Jaxon is in is getting old. I think we should send them to the same boarding school and maybe we will end of with great respecting kids.
So I don't have kids...but I did work at a center for high conflict divorce with bratty kids and help teacha parenting class. I'm speaking purly from the observation & reporting side of things without too much experience. I mean I did deal with kids at the center but that's not the day to day, you want to kill them type of thing. The 1-2-3 Magic book is a good technique (they have a book as well as a DVD so I would look for the book at the library if the DVD is expensive). The 123magic technique is basic behavioral psychology. Pretty much what I have seen work in parenting class as well as with kids much more messed up then Eva will ever be (promise!) is that you have to demand the respect, even if they are stuborned. It's kind of like Supernanny! You set a firm limit, make it clear to them what you are not going to put up with, and then when they disobey you make it clear what they are getting punished for and you punish them (the tricky part is you have to be consistent and always do what you say you will do or this doesn't work). There are lots of techniques out there but I'm a fan of the behavioral aproach like 123 magic or if you get a supernanny book she used behavioral methods as well. It may just be finding the method that works best with Eva as you said the methods that worked previosly aren't working now. Good luck! If you get really desperate consider looking into a parenting program that is offered by counseling centers, you know before the bording school disapearing act it's an option.
My kids can be brats as well. Savannah has been horrible and she isn't even two yet. I don't want to see what my future holds with her. Yikes!! Anyway, about your day with Eva, I was surprised to hear she ate her sandwich even after she requested a bagel. RJ is so stubborn, he just wouldn't eat. And he never falls asleep during the day. So you did good there.
Good news! I have the 123 Magic book...I LOVE IT! I can send it to you if you want. Riley was in shell shock when we first started using it but he gets the whole concept. The key as to everything in life is being consistant. Let me know if you would like me to mail it too you...just send me your address! Love ya
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